Today was a rough day.
There are days, sometimes linked together when your kids just decide to dig their heels in.
I went to class today.
The kids have decided that school work is optional.
Before, I would have screamed, and hollard, and lost my temper.
Today, I got louder when necessary,
and I took away privilages.
My husband backed me up as always.
Then I went on to some mindless tasks.
Laundry, Dishes, sweeping.
I let my earplugs fill my ears so that silly questions that should not be asked
would go unheard.
I don’t want to be mean, but if I don’t snap to attention the moment I hear a question,
sometimes it gives them time to think “do I really want to ask a question after the way the day has gone?” A good protion of the time they realize “not really.”
I sat down to the computer and realized I had missed something a group was doing.
I rememberd a picture I’d taken of a lilac.
I love lilacs. The timing, the colors, the fragrance.
Just to round out the mindless activities of the day
I looked up what lilacs mean.
Oh my heart.
God knew I needed this now.
Because I do not like disciplining,
and taking away privilages.
I tend to shut down when I have to.
So, this. One thing led to another to another to another,
and I was able to do exactly what I hoped.
I was able to resettle.
I look for something that will spark.
Boy did it.
God is so good.
Our neighbor has a lilac bush that has grown under our fence, and while I know the bush will probably ruin the fence eventually I have asked my husband to leave it. The kids enjoy bringing me bunches of stolen lilacs and I enjoy the fragrance that fills the room when they are here. First lilacs, then irises bloom in that part of the yard. Both purple, both strong smelling, both beautiful. A reminder from the giver to the receiver of first love. As it is my children who bring them I am reminded of the feeling of that first moment when you look into the face of your newborn child. Nothing sweeter, not even the fragrance of those first blooms. It isn’t the first love you feel for them, but it’s different, it’s just like falling IN love. What a great thing to be brought to mind today.
It was needed.
It is appreciated.
I am grateful.
I am blessed.
Regardless of the hard days, and the heels being dug in
Life is good.
I am content.
That is exactly where God wanted me to be today.