Embrace Your Purpose – Finding Happy In the Chaos

Oh, here we go, a shift in focus, a shift in purpose, a shift in my blogging life.
I’m talking to the hearts of you homeschooling mommas today,
the ones who are throwing up their hands saying “what was I thinking?”,
the ones who have gotten into a dark place in their homeschool life.

I know where you are.
I have been there.

When I decided to homeschool I had one child 6 years old, and was pregnant with my second.
I felt called to homeschool, for a lot of reasons.
I have never met a homeschool mom who does not think she was called to do it.
Could be it was because the school in their area was not what they wanted,
it could be they wanted to focus on faith,
maybe they just wanted to be in control of what their child was learning.
Regardless of the precise “why”, they were called to do this.

I had to do some fast talking with my husband,
whom I was convinced thought I had completely lost my mind.
I researched, for HOURS.
This was back in 1996, homeschooling was heard of, but it wasn’t quite a “thing”.
There were still some folks out there who had not heard of it.
I was definitely on the “oh she’s one of ‘those’ crazy homeschoolers” list.
We started. It was fun. Some days.

Fast forward several years and a few more kids.
Postpartum depression was introduced.
What fun. NOT!
Football, wrestling, boy scouts,
religious ed classes,
shooting sports,
several curriculum choices by now.

My life had become a busy, chaotic, depressed, dark place.
Wow! That one is hard to choke out.
Because you see, I knew even then that I was blessed.
I knew that I was doing what I was called to do.
But so many things come into play and I just forgot,
to embrace my purpose.

Obviously, going to the doc for the postpartum depression was a must.
You can’t just embrace away a chemical imbalance.
Remembering WHY I had felt called to homeschool was also necessary.
So many tools were used to get my attitude in the right place again,
And then the tools that got me past the cycle of feeling
“not good enough”.

As homeschool moms, we get a lot of advice, a lot of criticism, a lot of strange looks.
As moms of big families (which today is more than 2 kids)
we get looked at like we are circus freaks.
So many things coming at us.
And then,
the self-doubt comes in too.

I have mentioned some tools here already on my blog,
but I have a bit of a new focus, just twisted it a bit.
And from here on out my focus will be to share the tools,
over and over again,
that helped me get out of my depression
and my self-doubt,
and how I am finding happy in the chaos.
Because let’s face it,
6 kids, regardless of where they are in their lives,
will bring chaos.
We might as well embrace that too.

This was my “a little bit longer that 5 minute friday” post.
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About ~Me~ Hello, my name is Maxine. I am: Catholic and a stubborn child of God a wife (to my highschool sweetheart) a mom (to six wonderful kids that span 20 years in age) a daughter a sister a business owner an artist and a writer Like most women with a list like that, I'm also busy and sometimes overwhelmed. I'm on a journey to be happy despite the chaos, maybe even because of it.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Oh, I remember those days so vividly! February was always my darkest month — possibly weather-related, maybe I suffer from SADD, but unquestionably, I felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, encountering unending days of drudge, arguments, doubt, and loneliness. Homeschool mamas, listen to this wise guide in her counsel to take hold of the tools you’ve been given, starting with a support network of friends who encourage you! ~Laura (your FMF neighbor)

    1. Thank you for your kind words. Groundhogs day, yes that sounds just about like it. And I use to hate reading blog after blog and magazine story after magazine story of all the “perfect” homeschool moms that never seemed to struggle at all. It was defeating. You’ll find none of that here, I’m ready to dig in and tell the whole story. The great, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Still going through it with some of my spunkiest kiddos so I’m sure I’ll have stories for ages.

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