WHEN Last I Tried…

When last I tried

When last I tried to write in the dark… 

You know the dark I’m talking about, not lack of lighting dark, but when that monster called depression started to knock and whisper ugly things and tell me it was not a good time to write… I wrote anyway. And I hit publish before reading through it carefully.  Well, I left out a couple, two, key words and it completely changed the meaning of what I had intended. 

I fixed it. I had already written a couple of posts after that, so I published them, and then came “when”.  And the doubt had me stuck. What if I make another mistake like the one before? What if what I’m trying to say here comes out all wrong? What if I’m not really ready to do all this? It’s not as polished as I’d like it to be, or organized. What if? 

So I missed the day “when” was supposed to be published. I guess I opened the door just enough to let the monster get a good jab in. 

When last I tried to crawl out of the dark…

Yesterday. Literally yesterday. Here’s the thing about depression. It keeps coming back for another round. And I know all the steps to take to stay ahead of it, but it has tentacles. 

HOWEVER, because I know the steps, they are easier to take, and the clouds have less hold on me, and you’ve just walked through it with me. This time it was but a wisp. It didn’t get me to quit. And the verses I used in my writing were more than just a quick search to put something on paper (computer screen), I needed them, I used them, I studied them. I won.

When last I tried this challenge…

Last year. I think I got 7 posts in before the doubt came in and had me at a standstill and I gave up. It was a good one too. I’ll have to revisit it and see if I can still work it out. 

So what is the point of my story? 5 minutes at a time-ish? Well, maybe this time it was meant for me, to allow me to write it out one step at a time so that I get stronger. Or maybe it was meant for a reader. I am not certain. But I am certain that God has his hands in this because it has gone a direction I had not even considered. 

time +10 min. 

Learn more about this 31-day challenge here. 
Find the rest of my 31 days of five-ish minute free writes here.

maxinemarie

About ~Me~ Hello, my name is Maxine. I am: Catholic and a stubborn child of God a wife (to my highschool sweetheart) a mom (to six wonderful kids that span 20 years in age) a daughter a sister a business owner an artist and a writer Like most women with a list like that, I'm also busy and sometimes overwhelmed. I'm on a journey to be happy despite the chaos, maybe even because of it.

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